Almost 5 months in the game

 Hi family! 

Hoping all is well and you all are thriving and prospering through this life journey. 

I can't believe hubby and I are almost five months in the parental game! It has been such a beautiful journey and we couldn't ask for any changes. Our hearts are full, our minds are constantly absorbing new info, and our challenges are being overcome. 

This blog post comes off the heels of a long, trying few weeks. Man, talk about a rollercoaster of emotions. But like my other posts, I like to bring transparency, honesty, and the truths about not only my life journey, but my new journey as a mother. I am learning to be more submissive in areas I can't control, more understanding in areas I don't have all the solutions, and more compassionate in areas I have been wronged. 

Before I dive into the goods, take a look at how cute our son is! My snook snook is so perfect. Growing so fast, so alert and curious about everything, sleeping through the night and not shy at all when it comes to interacting with people. His smile will make your day. Sigh... he is perfection. 

I am experiencing first hand what it means to let my child teach me. As folks say, children are the ultimate teachers. I am going through changes both mentally, physically and spiritually. Although the changes are uncomfortable, scary, and annoying, I know they are for my good and tie into a bigger picture. As writing continues to be one of my most comfortable and reliable outlets, I give ya'll some of my misses and gains.   

Things I Miss

• I miss my baby bump. The love for women with a baby bump is real lol. The attention and concern you get is unmatched. Not to mention the baby is attached to you so there isn't any anxiety with them being elsewhere. 
• I miss being able to just get up and go with little to no planning and less packing lol. Having a little one definitely makes this process different. 
• I miss my old body. Ya'll... these boobs, booty and stomach ain't sitting the same lol

Things I have Gained/Increased

• Patience. This has increased in so many areas of my life now that little man is here. Not only having to be patient with him as he learns his environment and his own body, but my thoughts and my own actions when it comes to learning how to parent and go with the flow as constant changes arise. Breast feeding has had it's ups and downs and I am so thankful to still be providing for him in this way. This has also called me to be patient with my body and be more in tuned with it once I notice my flow has decreased. 
• Vulnerability. Whew. This has been the hardest part. Being vulnerable comes in many forms but for me, it has taught me to embrace it more. Needing help is ok, asking for help is ok, and not knowing the answer is ok. I am realizing more than ever how much I have struggled with asking for help. My therapist left me with some homework regarding this topic (yea that's how much of a struggle it has been lol). She asked me to write down how I feel when I ask for help and what I think people think about me when I ask for help. Ya'll I haven't written anything yet but best believe I'll have my homework assignment completed by my appointment this week. 
• Compassion. Displaying empathy in my life is at an all time high. Having more empathy and compassion for those who have wronged me and for those who choose to not be in my life has been hard but it feels so good to my soul. I feel lighter spiritually and feel as if it has left more space for me to live and lead a life of love. Trust that things and people meant for you will present themselves in a way that confirm their purpose.  
• Being more comfortable with my voice. I won't go into too much here because I think this topic deserves its own post, but let's just say that finding your voice is one thing.. but using it, whew! It will filter out those bad relationships and negative things in your life. I look at my voice as my first layer of defense for my mind and my energy. If we don't guard those, bad things can get in. 

Ya'll see how much longer my gains list is from my miss list right? God is good! I thank ya'll for entering into my space and absorbing the testimonies of my journey. So many people have helped me along the way, but I want to dedicate this blog post to two special ladies who are helping me grow so much in this new mommy space. Taitanna Moore and Brittany Jackson. I love ya'll to life and I am so blessed to have ya'll by my side. 

-BrianaJ