Karter - Bryan (KB)
I can't believe I am a mother! Is it everything everyone said it would be? Do I feel different? Am I handling the emotional changes well? My answer is... taking it all day by day. Even writing this blog is helping me handle my new found free time (blessed to be taking 2.5 months off work) and actively monitoring my mental health each day. I am learning to take it easy and be patient with myself more than anything. Practicing grace with yourself can be the hardest. So thankful for our village who has been checking in on us and sending their love!
Now, the reason why you are here, to hear my birth story! Let me first say that ya girl killed google searches, reading baby apps (the Baby Center App featured below was my fav and you get free stuff!), soliciting advice from friends, family, coworkers, etc.
I was most certainly driving Kourtney crazy and doing way too much. My thought was that if I learned and memorized every best and worse case birth scenario, I would be mentally prepared for whatever happened. This method was indeed exhausting and influenced fear which I admittedly had from the moment I found out I was pregnant. During my last bath session on Feb 26th (I live for weekly bath sessions!), I wrote a journal entry where I left the worry and fear in that tub and let it flow down the drain. I wrote that I would be surrendering to whatever was to happen and that The Most High was going to do what he was going to do regardless of how I was to prepare.
Three days later... my water broke in my sleep.
Hubby and I had just got home from tacos on Monday night Feb 28th. That's not Tuesday you say. Which is correct, the cravings come in waves and that night, we landed on tacos lol. Made it home and I was feeling well but did notice increased pelvic pressure. Baby boy had dropped weeks before so as he gained weight the pelvic pressure slowly increased. We went to bed around 10:30 PM not knowing the fun was about to begin! I woke up at 12:30 AM to a gush of fluid. Not to give TMI, but I felt like I peed on myself…which has happened numerous times during my pregnancy (no judging). Go to the bathroom and quickly recognize it's my water breaking. Shortly after, I lose my mucus plug. For the men who may be reading this, you may need to google what that is lol. Still a bit in denial, I double check my baby app just to be sure. My brain just clicked and said... “it's go time”. I wake hubby up at 12:45 AM... with red eyes he wakes and jokingly says... “We got action!”
At this point, there are contractions but only feeling like period cramps. I managed to take a shower, we double check our hospital bags, and Kourtney puts in the car seat. We left the house around 1:30 AM to head to Wellstar Cobb Hospital. Anxiety is starting to kick in. We arrive a little before 2:00 AM and are greeted by a warm, black, woman at the front desk who named herself "Aunt Diane". She eased the nerves wonderfully. She checked us in and directed us to the second floor where I would be examined. Still able to manage and not in any severe pain, we made it to the exam room. They tell me my water had indeed broken and I am 1cm dilated and 50% effaced... Anxiety kicks in even more now. This is happening!
Time for my next examination. I don’t even remember the time because at this point, I was deep into my zone. Nurse tells us, "You are now 5cm dilated and almost 100% effaced. You are doing great momma". She gives me a small pill to complete the softening of my cervix.
A few hours later, I begin the transition phase of labor which is the most intense. Contractions are super strong and about 1 min apart… I can't speak through them and I am attempting to find a position that I can manage them in. Yoga ball, no go... hands and knees on the bed... no go. The position I stay in the longest is standing, leaning over the bed, body pressure on my elbows, while Kourtney does deep tissue massages on my lower back. I executed the breathing exercises I learned to help cope as well. I don't know how long we stayed in this position... but I remember him saying... “We are about to watch the sun rise while you deliver baby boy”.
It's now about 7:30 AM and I am 9.5 cm dilated. I am exhausted. I want to sleep. I can feel my body establishing periods of rest in between contractions now... it was trying to conserve my energy for pushing.
I get examined again... She asks me... "Are you ready to try to push this baby out?". It's now about 10:00 AM. Oddly enough the intense contraction pain has subsided. In between contractions I just feel pressure because baby boy is right in position and crowning.
Pushing took every ounce of energy I had left in me. I pushed for about 2 hours. Kourtney was such a rock. Giving me water, pouring positive affirmations into me.. He kept telling me, “He is almost here...keep going babe”. The ring of fire they talk about... felt that. At one point, I felt my uterus was doing so much of the work on its on. “My body was made for this”.
Baby boy arrived at 12:16 PM on March 1st. When they placed him on my chest I burst into tears. Overwhelmed with emotion as baby boy took his first breaths.. looked into my husband's eyes as he tells me... “You did it babe”. Such a Godly experience and felt outer body. It still feels surreal and baby boy is already two weeks old.
I share my story because I am proud of myself, writing is helping me cope through my postpartum waves and phases, and also recognizing other mothers may find my testimony helpful. Women are amazing! We got this and can conquer anything we put our minds to. Feel free to reach out for any advice, positive energy or general questions.
With love and grace,